This book came to my collection by way of a tongue-in-cheek present from a friend. It’s only apropos to review the book on the day of enforced love, Valentine’s Day.
The book takes the reader through the whole dating experience from the first meeting and courtship to long-term relationships and break-ups. There’s even sections on “ex etiquette” and rules for the best friend of the “dumpee”. The authors have all eventualities covered.
The book speaks with a breath of delicacy and seduction from the very beginning. One advice on table manners during a date goes:
…be particularly careful in managing ticklish delicacies such as frankfurters, bananas, lollipops… and ice cream, lest the exhibition encourage undesirable… advances.
But the title in no way misrepresents; the bulk of the book is dedicated to S-E-X. It offers etiquette in all its desirable flavours: cherry, vanilla, rocky road and passion fruit, to name but a few (innuendo intentional). This book explores virgin territory, booty calls, threeways all with a tone of respect.
My favourite bit of the book is the ‘Suggested Timeline for Various Intimacy Milestones’. It’s a guide from the first date to the first year and at which point to attempt “moves” so as not to offend your partner’s delicate sensibilities. According to the timeline, a kiss on the cheek (possibly lips, but no tongue) on the first date is acceptable but “heavy petting” would not be appropriate until after the 4th date.
It is a thoroughly enjoyable read, and if taken with a pinch of salt, it becomes a sort of “relationship guide”. I highly recommend this book to everyone, to those who are 18 going on 60 or the 40 year old virgin.